Building Your Identity (Part II)

What up!

I hope you guys had a good weekend! I know I sure did. I just did my last Private Instruction for 2010 4 days ago and wrote all about it in a private e-mail which I sent out to Troy and some of my confidants. It’s our way of syncing our thoughts, sharing our new lessons from the field and coaching perspectives, all means to help us become better coaches for our clients as well. One of the things I love the most about 24/7 Attractive Man is that our teaching methods are always evolving. That is to say that you can always expect a different set of skills to be taught to you at any time because we are always developing or fine-tuning our lessons to make things as efficient and effective as possible. This means a lot of hands-on work in the field but hey, that also means a lot of fun for me!

As always, it’s great to be back here writing to you guys again. Before I present Part II of this article to you, I would like to share a success story from one of my beta-testers, 2009 Masterclass Alumni Jiron Tan :

The Building Your Identity series helped me a lot. Being able to include more clearly-defined lifestyle activities made it easier for me to talk to girls because I had so many interesting things to talk about. I suddenly felt like I have a lot more to offer (in terms of value, as well as date options). The second time out with L turned up something interesting. I began to find myself describing things so much more expressively and excitably. Being more of a quiet person, that surprised me because it came so naturally.

In my opinion, having a clearly defined identity doesn’t give confidence. Instead, the confidence comes from seeing how easy it is to talk to girls about almost anything because the Lifestyle aspect of my Identity supports the conversation. Being able to bring a girl into my awesome lifestyle makes me feel like I have things to offer, and therefore, makes me feel more comfortable around them. The very fact that I have an interesting, attractive life makes me interesting and attractive by default. Which girl wouldn’t like that? And because I recognise that girls will love that, I naturally see myself in a different light.”

Great work, brother! We should be hearing more from the others soon but now, without further ado, here is Building Your Identity (Part II) :

The Importance Of Establishing Your Identity

This was me when I was 20, fresh out of the army. To be honest, I had no idea back then how the hell I was going to do it, but I wanted to develop myself into someone almost completely unrecognizable. I wanted to have a slick, spiked hairstyle, subtle-edgy fashion, be in good physical shape and with the swagger of a champion. Back then, I had no idea what I wanted to do in life. I spent the previous 2 years slogging it out in the army and just performing tasks that were thrust unto me. When it came to taking the lead, I found myself unsure. And of course, being a young man of 20 years-old, I had massive blue-balls haha. I would have done anything for a Woman’s company but even then, no Woman would have wanted me.

Whether you are an Alumni, an upcoming PI client, a 24/7 Attractive Man enthusiast or even a complete stranger, one thing that will resonate strongly with you is that CLARITY is an important part when it comes to accomplishing a goal or chasing success. The Identity Development Map is designed specifically to help you gain clarity in the important aspects of your social and dating life.

I liken the experience to that of traveling. You can have the best car, you may be technically the best driver but if you have no idea where you are headed, none of that is of any use. That is why we need a map, to give us directions to where we want to end up eventually. I personally spent a good 2 years before I became a professional coach, groping around in the dark (not in a sexy, fun way) and it was a really exhausting period for me. It was only when I sat my ass down and thought about where I wanted to steer my development towards did the journey become a lot more enjoyable. I accomplished my goals effectively and more efficiently. I started to see in my mind how I was actually getting so much closer to my goals and that gave me motivation to improve even further.

The thing that hit me the hardest was that I was doing stuff that I thought Women would find attractive. This is why I ended up being quite a weirdo, doing shit that wasn’t congruent with my character and even doing stuff I didn’t particularly enjoy doing (like clubbing, which I didn’t really like back then) I should have been doing stuff that I found attractive. Stuff I would actually enjoy. I should be developing myself into the kind of person I wanted to be. As out-of-character as it might’ve been, it was what I truly wanted.

I started plotting my Identity Development Map. It looked like this :

I am Xavier See



I listed down my dream Archetype, Lifestyle and Social Life scenarios and I set achievable small-medium goals which worked towards the direction of my dreams. The more steps I took towards development of that life, the more defined the answers and visions became. I wanted a bunch of friends for an Ultimate Crew which was great with Women, great to be around and supportive. These guys turned out to be the 24/7 AM crew. I wanted to date lots of girls and I sure as hell did, but I came to realize that there was always this one girl who I wanted to talk to and be with at the end of the day. This girl became my girlfriend.

Done With Your Identity Map?

Once you have completed your Identity Development Map, follow the next set of instructions :

1) Start plotting another map using the same factors to chart your LIFE AT THIS CURRENT MOMENT.

2) Start comparing your current life to your dream life and rate, on a scale of 1-10, where you are at right now with regards to your dream life.

3) As soon as you have done that, I’d love to take a look at your maps. Send me your 2 maps with me via Skype or e-mail.

4) I will take a look at your maps and give you, FREE-OF-CHARGE, an assessment with customized Private instructions to start you off on your personal development.

If I had to sum it all up, it’s important to know where you want to head to eventually. The more defined this vision is, the better. After that it’s all about sitting down and setting small-medium achievable goals to get you there. If the goal is too unrealistic, you will lose motivation. Too simple and things may turn out to be unexciting and not worth the time. When you know the answers to the “What” and “Where” for your future, the next step is the “How-To”. This is where the 24/7 Attractive Man comes in. I have organized a new Start Here page to let you know EXACTLY HOW TO begin your first step towards becoming a naturally attractive man that Women will love.

You can continue to sit around, hope and dream about the kind of life you want. Or you can begin to the stuff at the Start Here page(all FREE-OF-CHARGE, by the way) to begin to change your life today. The choice is yours ;-)

Coming Up Next…

I actually received a few questions which I will answer in the next post. One of them is “How do I give value to Women the 24/7 Attractive Man way?“, which was such a great question that I can’t wait to share my thoughts on.

Alright folks, it’s the Christmas weekend so I’d like to take this opportunity to wish you guys a very Merry Christmas in advance. If you haven’t already done your Xmas shopping, you guys better do that soon because I was in Takashimaya Shopping Centre yesterday and it was like Zoukout in there haha.

Live and Love,


Skype : xavierrrr

2 responses to “Building Your Identity (Part II)

  1. Having a plan definitely makes it easier to know where you are headed and what to work on.Thumbs up

  2. Hey Jack,

    Damn right! Thanks for sharing!


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